Marriage Hawaii - "dumb" wedding questions --- just wondering?

"dumb" wedding questions --- just wondering?

I am not married so don't bite my head off! I went to one wedding when i was a kid (i'm in my 20's now)...i always wonder these things: 1. are the parents of bride or groom still expected to pay for the wedding or is that old fashioned? 2. when u send invitation to whomever do u always assume they will bring a guest/date or is the invite just for 1 person? do people ever go to weddings alone? 3. okay, after the couple leave the reception and go to lets say Hawaii for honeymoon - do they leave right away? does she wear her dress on the plane, to the hotel lol... 4. kids - can u have a wedding with all adults? what about guests that have kids - do u have to invite them? 5. do u have to have open bar? is it tacky n' cheap if you don't? 6. maid of honor - is her dress supposed to be different from the other bridesmaids? how do u choose maid of honor I have 1 older sis and 2 female best friends 7. is every 1 invited to the wedding invited to the reception lol - thanks *an add on to Question 4 - is it considered rude NOT to invite the kids?

Public Comments

it alldepends on both of u all traditions
There are many ediquate"sp" books that can answer those as well as many other questions much better than I can. they are not dumb questions.
1. I'm not sure what's expected...but my mom just busted out a ton of money for my sisters wedding... 2. usually you write on the invitation for mr.so and so and guest...so they have the option of bringing someone because no one likes to go to weddings alone 3. most couples don't leave for the honeymoon until the next day..sometimes even a couple days later...plenty of time to change 4. most adults with kids will bring them to the wedding...but for the reception will leave them home with a babysitter 5. you don't have to have an open bar...but it's always nice 6. the dress can be different..but most of the time they are all the same...just depends on what the bride wants...and maid of honor is usually your sister..or who ever you are very close with 7. and if you are invited to the wedding you are invited to the reception as well hope that was helpful
No such thing a 'dumb questions', only dumb people that ask questions...:) Just kidding. 1) old etiquette left the financial responsibility of paying for the wedding to the parents of the bride. As time passed, this has changed, and for the msot part, many couple are paying for their own wedding, and getting 'some' help from ALL the parents. 2) It is polite to assume that your guest will bring a date/guest. Remember to count kids when you invite families. 3) Most honeymoons don't happen immediately, so there is pl;enty of time to change out of the dress. 4) You CAN have a wedding without kids, but you have to make it EXPLICITLY clear in the invitations, you also have to be diplomatic about it as well 5) If you are on a budget, it is not tacky to have a cash bar at the reception. If you are doing a cash bar just because you are cheap??? Well, that might fall into the tacky category 6) The maid of honor is usually distiniguised somehow from the other brides maids, something as simple as a different color hairpiece etc. Picking one? That's a tough one, I will defer that answer...:) 7) again, etiquette says that those invited to be witnesses to the wedding should also be invited to party at the reception.
1) Typically the parents of the bride pay by tradition...it doesn't have to work like this if you don't want. My husband and I paid for most of our wedding and all parents contributed a bit. 2)On your invites you should add "and partner"if you don't know the partners name...and get them to R.S.V.P by a given date so you know exactly how many will attend. 3)Generally after the reception you can stay a night at a Hotel...to consummate the marriage...hehehe and fly out the day after or whenever you want. 4)You don't have to invite the children, simply don't include their names on the invites if you don't want children. If the parents really want the children to attend then they need to ask you. 5)At our wedding we had red and white wine available and full strength and light beer, orange juice and soft drinks available for our guests....any liqueurs they had to purchase themselves. 6)The maid of honors dress may be the same as the other girls...but you can give her different accessories or flowers etc. If you find it hard to choose then default to your older sister. 7)Generally it is most polite to invite everyone who attends the ceremony to the reception.
1. yes-old fashioned. but some parents want to help. 2. If they can bring a date you address the invitation to : John Doe and guest. If they cannot then just address to John Doe but he probably wont want to come alone unless he has family/friends coming. If they are single you really should allow them to bring a date 3. many leave right away. many leave and go to a hotel for the night and then go where ever they are going the next morning. I have seen brides leave in their dress and I have seen some change before leaving. 4. You dont have to invite kids. If you dont want kids then on the invitation put something like "adult only reception to follow" personally I do not like that but whatever you want, others wont like it either and may not come if they cant bring their kids 5. No, its not tacky n cheap if you dont have an open bar. It may be tacky to have the cash bar in the room. many people will have the reception at a country club or hotel that has a cash bar in another room. many will have wine available but cash bar for anything else. 6. the maid of honors dress is usually the same but could be different if thats what you want. anything goes these days. I would chose your sis as your maid of honor and friends as the bridesmaids 7. yes, everyone invited to the wedding should be invited to the reception.
1. It is still common for the parents to pay for at least part of the wedding, if it is both peoples first but not required. I've had plenty of friends that have paid for their own weddings. 2. Every invitation should be for someone plus a date. However if you are wondering how many are actually coming you should request invitees RSVP. 3. Usually when the couple leave the reception they are not going straight to the airport but home or to a hotel to change and pack for their honeymoon. If the couple is going directly to the airport from the reception it is common to change clothes before leaving. 4. Yes you can have a wedding without kids, but it is more common to provide a nursery for guests with children to leave their kids with. If you don't want to then just state on the invites that children are not welcome (you'll probably tick off their parents though) 5. You do not have to have an open bar, but I think it is tacky and cheap if you don't. 6. You can have your wedding party dress however the hell you like. It's the bride's day she get to decide what the wedding party will wear. 7. Yes if they are invited to the wedding they are invited to the reception unless you tell them on the wedding invitations that the reception is a private party by special invitation only.
1. It depends on the beliefs of the bride and groom and their parents. Some parents go fifty fifty. Traditionally, the bride's parents pay for everything but the flowers, which are taken care of by the groom's parents. There are also a lot of couples who pay for it themselves since more people are marrying in their late twenties and early thirties and have the financial means to do so. 2. If you're ok with the person bringing a guest you say address the invitation to "Mr. /Miss Soandso and Guest". Tons of people go to weddings alone, it's a great way to meet people. Didn't you see "Wedding Crashers"? 3. It all depends on the bride and groom! My husband and I changed at my parents house and then went to the hotel (we left the following morning for Hawaii). One thought I had was to wear my dress to the hotel and then have someone pick it up at the front desk after we left. Some brides want to wear their dress on their wedding night because they think it's sexy to have their new husband take it off of them. 4. Yes! If you don't want kids at the wedding, you put a little note at the bottom of the invitations that says "No children, please" and only put the adults' names on the invitation. If you want children, it's nice to put their names on the invitation to make them feel special or you can address it to "The Soandso Family" to make it clear that everyone's invited. 5. No, you don't need an open bar, you don't even need a reception with a full meal. Especially today, it is probably safer to either have a limited open bar (only the first hour or so) or none at all to ensure people get home safely. 6. The maid of honor's dress is only different if the bride wants it to be so that everyone knows who she is. As far as picking the lucky girl, there are a few factors. First of all, the bride's parents may have an opinion that it should be the bride's sister. If your parents don't care who the maid of honor is then you have something else to think about. The maid of honor has a TON of responsibilities both during and before the wedding. She has to be someone who can not only support the bride emotionally but can also make sound decisions about the wedding in the bride's place to alleviate stress. That being said, she has to be someone the bride utterly and completely trusts, not just a BFF. 7. No. Guests are only invited to the reception of their invitation says that they are, such as "Reception to follow at 2:00 at a restaurant". If the invitation doesn't say anything about a reception then the person isn't invited. It's a lot easier to just invite everyone to the reception to prevent people calling and having to explain to them that they are not invited to the reception. A reception can also be held after the couple gets back from the honeymoon and separate invitations can be sent out. That way it's clear who is and isn't invited. Hope this helps!
There is absolutely nothing dumb in not being informed about the intricacies of wedding etiquette. Information is available all around, and here is a good place to start. For one thing, you'll learn that there are very few absolutes in wedding planning, and that nearly everybody seems to have a slightly different list of them. So let's take these one at a time and I'll give you my answers. 1: The parents of the bride used to be expected to pay for nearly everything connected with the wedding. Some parents still wish to do so, but it is no longer automatically expected. My advice to women asking about this is usually to work out a wedding budget based on what she and her fiance can afford to put toward it and not expect anything of their parents until it is specifically offered to them. 2: Never expect your guests to be able to read your mind. If you wish to invite single guests to bring along a date or friend, either ask them who they wish to bring and send that person an invitation, too, or else direct it to 'Jane Doe and Guest.' If you do not put 'and Guest,' Jane does not get to bring a guest. Yes, people do go to weddings alone every day. I've done it plenty of times and never had a bad time because of that, yet. 3: It used to be the standard thing for couples to change into travelling clothes at the reception and then head straight for a train or a plane. A few couples still do that. More often now, brides and grooms want to be there for the whole party they planned and paid for. Others just don't want to add to the stress of the day by worrying about when they need to be at the airport and what the traffic is going to be like. Most couples now at least spend the wedding night in town, often at the hotel where the reception is held or in their own home. 4: Yes, you may have a wedding without inviting children. You simply invite the guests you wish to have attend. It is then up to them whether they choose to accept the invitation, and to arrange child care if they choose to come to the wedding. 5: No, you not have to have an open bar. But anything you do serve, you need to pay for. Once a guest walks into your party, they should not have to pay for anything at all. Open bar, just beer and wine, one champagne toast, or totally alcohol-free, it's up to the bride and groom how they wish to handle it. Consider your personal beliefs and your pocketbooks, and make your decision from there. 6: The maid of honor may have a slightly different dress than the other attendants, or she may not. That's up to the bride. If you have multiple ladies you're equally close to, pick the one you think is most responsible, or the one most closely related to you. 7: That's usually by far the best, yes. I hope you found this helpful.
1. It really depends on the situation you, your groom and your parents are in. It also depends on the traditions you want to follow. I will see couples paying for the whole thing, brides parents, or the brides parents going half with the groom. 2. Typically you address the invite to a person and a guest (if they are not married). Even if you're close to the person, the bride and groom will be too busy with others to spend time with select people. By allowing people to bring guest, it gives them someone to talk with and hang out with. There are people who go alone to weddings. 3. It depends on your travel plans. Personally, I wouldn't leave until a day or two after the wedding. The event causes a lot of stress and some need a chance to breath. 4. Weddings can be only adults. Sometimes couples will bring their kids to the church even if the kids are not invited because there is not usually no seat limit. I've seen weddings where the only kids were the ones in the flower party. I've seen other weddings that only allowed the kids from close family members (like their nieces and nephews). I've seen weddings that put an age limit on the guest (13 and up). I've seen some that allow any kids. It depends on your wedding budget and theme. 5. I mostly see weddings with open bars. However, it really depends on that kind of budget you have. If you cannot afford a whole open bar, talk to the owners to figure how what you can afford to keep open. For example: no mix drinks. 6. Who are you closest with? Most pick their sister but I seen someone pick their best friend over their only sister because she was closer to her friend then her sister. Also, those who have more than one sister will choose a friend so they don't have to pick what sister. 7. Typically yes, but it depends on the wedding ceremony you have. Some want to keep the ceremony intermit, so they will only invite some to that but more to the reception. ----- Keep coming back to Yahoo! There are AWESOME people out here to give advice and help. :) No questions are ever dumb.
1. This all depends upon the person, actually. I know that for most families in the South, it still holds true that the bride's parents pay for quite a bit. However, it's not uncommon now to ask the groom's parents to pitch in a bit. 2. This sort of information is usually listed on the invitation. You can simply state "insert name + 1" or request that the event be by invitation only. 3. Usually the bride and groom will change clothes after the reception and then leave. 4. You have to think about the people you'll be inviting for that sort of thing. If you want it to be adults only, it's a good idea to hire a babysitter and have an outside location for people to leave their children. My sister did that for her wedding and I think it was the best idea ever. 5. Again, this depends on the person. My sister didn't have an open bar, nor did she even have a sit down meal at the reception. The reception was short and sweet. If you feel that you want to have the bar option, it's usually a good idea to offer an open bar though. 6. The maid of honor's dress doesn't have to be different, but you can make it different if that's what you want. I was my sister's MoH, and I just had a different looking necklace and bouquet. As far as choosing your MoH, keep in mind that this will be the person that will be planning your wedding showers, and helping quite a bit with the wedding planning. If you don't feel like your sister will be the one for that, then go ahead and have her be a bridesmaid. No shame in that! 7. Usually everyone invited to the ceremony is invited to the reception, however, I have seen people request that you RSVP for both events, so that in the event of someone leaving directly after the ceremony, you didn't have food prepared for them at the reception.
All good questions - 1. In the olden days parents of the bride paid for the wedding, the groom’s parents paid for very little. I know my parents paid for my first wedding, my current husband and I paid for our wedding ourselves. If the couple is older and/or already living together they usually opt to pay for the wedding themselves. Parents usually offer to help, but some of us old folks just don't have the money to pay for a wedding. We gave what we could to my husband's daughter. His parents had money, and they paid for a good portion of the wedding and reception, and the bride and groom paid for the rest. 2. You should assume that someone will bring a guest, and you should put "and guest" on the inside envelope of the wedding invitation, or the persons name if you know their significant other's name. Yes, people can and do go to weddings alone, and there is nothing wrong with it. 3. Most couples don't go from the wedding to the honeymoon; they go to a hotel and leave the next day, or even later. We went on a cruise, so we flew to Hawaii the Friday after our wedding and hopped on the cruise ship on Saturday. Being that we were married on a Saturday and the cruise started on a Saturday, we couldn't go right away. If the couple leaves right from the reception, common practice is the bride and groom change into "going away" clothing. 4. You do not have to invite children. If you don't want kids at the wedding, please don't write "children not welcome". Putting children not welcome wording just sounds bad, put "adults only", and do not put the kids names on the inside envelope of the wedding invitation, and do not put and family on the outside envelope. If someone calls you regarding their children, just explain that space is limited and you cannot accommodate children. Stand your ground... 5. You do not have to have an open bar. People should be coming to your wedding to celebrate your starting your new life together, not to get drunk. If you feel you need to have a bar that you're paying for, have it be for a limited time, or limit the drinks to beer and wine. Not that that keeps people from getting drunk, it doesn't. The bar bill can get really high, really quick. We didn't have a bar at all. Our wedding and reception was at a restaurant and if people wanted a drink, other than the champagne we offered, they went and got one. Nobody was offended or thought we were tacky. Drinks are expensive, and not everyone can afford their friend's drinking habits. I know I can't. 6. Your maid of honor's dress doesn't have to be different, have her flower's bigger, or a slightly different type of flower, or something that sets her apart just slightly. Back in the olden days we didn't do this, but now days it's done this way. My first wedding, I had the girls carry one single red rose, and the maid of honor carried two. I only had a maid of honor for my second wedding, so it was a mute point. Have your sister be your MOH, my sister did not have my other sister (I am the youngest one) and she regretted it. She also regretted not having me as a bridesmaid, but that's a whole different saga. lol 7. Yes, everyone invited to the wedding should be invited to the reception. Hope this helped. j
These aren't dumb questions at all. There are a lot of myths and misconceptions on these very topics. 1. Back in the old days, girls lived with their parents until they married and went to live with their husband's family. The ceremony took place at the parents' church. Afterwards the bride's parents hosted a luncheon, a tea dance, or some other sort of reception. These gatherings were (a) an opportunity for the bride's social circle to meet the groom (b) a going away party for the daughter, who might not return to the area for many years, and (c) a celebration of the joyous occasion -- in that order of importance. Some people (brides and parents of the groom among them) use this bit of tradition to browbeat brides' parents into bearing unwelcome financial burdens. These people have conveniently forgotten what happens AFTER the wedding journey, now called a honeymoon. The couple went to live with or near the groom's parents, who would also host a dinner, a ball, a tea dance, or some other sort of reception. The purpose of the event was for the bride and the groom's social circle to meet. That was then and this is now. Girls often aren't living with their parents. Second and third marriages are frequent. It is less rare for couples parent's to have very different levels of wealth. And so on. While it may have been USUAL for the bride's parents to pay for that party which immediately follows the ceremony, it isn't required. The only "graven in stone" rule is that neither "tradition" nor "custom" may not be used to bully, badger, and browbeat people into giving a party against their will. 2-7. I can't give a thorough answer in this limited space, so feel free to e-mail me for more details. Here are short answers, minus explanation. 2. It is incorrect to use "and guest" or "and family" on formal invitations. (A wedding is a formal occasion even if it's on the beach in swim suits.) And of course you go alone. A wedding is NOT an opportunity to entertain guests of your own at someone else's expense. 3. The couple stays at the reception long enough to participate in food and SOME dancing. Then they leave. Usually the bride doesn't wear her gown for a long journey, but when and where she changes clothes is flexible. 4. No you don't have to invite children. 5. Whether and how alcohol are served is a matter of personal preference -- again, no rules. 6. While bridesmaids often wear matching costumes, it's not required that they be identical. It makes for more pleasing visuals when the colors all coordinate, when the styles are similar (casual, formal, long, short, etc) -- but there is lots of wiggle room. The maid of honor is that attendent whom the bridal couple and thier families decide to honor, the bridal equivelent of the best man. 7. No. One may correctly have a small private ceremony followed by a huge party. One would be equally correct to invite everyone one in town to the ceremoney, and afterwards have a small, private luncheon or dinner party. Or any combination. Added later -- Thoughtful readers will notice that the "customs" originating with "the wedding industry" inevitably involve greater financial outlay than those endorsed by authoritative sources such as Miss Manners and Emily Post. All civil E-mail is welcomed.
1. while it is 'traditional' for the parents of the bride to pay for the wedding and the parents of the groom to pay for the rehersal dinner, most couples now pay for the brunt of the wedding and parents may give a bit to help ou. Parents are not obligated to pay for anything. It is completely up to the families and their financial situations. 2. The only people that are invited are listed on the envelope. Usually on the inside envelope. Ex: Mary Jones and guest- you may bring 1 Mary Jones- no guest invited Mr. and Mrs. Jones- this does not indicate that your 3 children are invited Mr. and Mrs. Jones and Family- bring the kids The decision of the bride and groom, to invite guests and children is based on how intimate the want their wedding and the financial situation. Often when people want to invite seveal people fromsay, the office, they may be invited without sppouses or partners. 3. Many couples wait several days to go on honeymoons now.. if notweeks and months. This gives time for the new couple to unwind, pack, relax and maybe just getting it to fit into schedules. I would not advise thta you wear your dress on the plane.. It will be uncomfortable. Most people don't leave right from the reception. They usually wait until at least the next morning. 4. You do not have to invtie kids!!Just because someone has a child/children does not mean they are automatically part of the invite. I had an all adult wedding. I printed 'Adult reception" on the reception card. That pretty much spelled it out for them, but I stll had a couple people still ask uif their chilren could come. I explained politely that it was an adult reception and not other children would be present. The only child there was my flower girl. This is entirely up to you. 5. You don't have to have an open bar, if religion or custom dictates against alcohol, but cash bars tend to be tack and annoying. If you are opting out of the open bar, just for financial reasons, consider serving at least beer and wine. If you do choose to have a cash bar, be sure to indicate it somewhere on the reception card in the invitation!!! Nothing is wordse than going to a wedding and finding out that you needed to bringextra money for drinks!!! 6.The maid of honor soes not have to have a separate dress if you don't want to. Mine wore the same dress as everyone else. I had the same situation.. a sis and 2 friends. I just chose my sis. There was no argument from anyone, because it is somewhat assumed that sis/bros are first choice for maid of honors/besman. Or you could have everyone in the wedding party be a maid of honor. I was in a wedding like this for one of my friends. There were 5 of us that have all been friends since grade school. She couldn't pick jhust one, so we were all maid of honors and listed like that in the program. 7. This is a tricky one, but if you invite someone to the cremony you must invite them to the reception. If you don't, that is like saying :"thanks for taking the time to come see me be the center of attention, but I don't think you are worth paying for at the reception". it is hurtful and rude. Ceremonies are usually 'free' for guests so just send a general invite for both and let people decide. Many people don't go to the ceremony but go to the reception. On the same note, if someone is invited to the bridal shower, yo must invite them to the wedding. Hope some of this helps!!!
1. Question: are the parents of bride or groom still expected to pay for the wedding or is that old fashioned? Answer: No. The parents are NOT expected to pay for everything...and it is completely unreasonable to expect them to, especially if you are out of your parent's house when you get married. While it is tradition for the bride's family to pay for most of the event, that is mainly for very young couples just starting out, that are not already on their own. In this age of couples living together before marriage, couples getting married later in life when they are already financially established, and couples wanting big, lavish weddings while parents may be retired, no. Most couples are paying for the majority of the event themselves, possibly with financial help from and or all of their family, not just the bride's side. 2. Question: when u send invitation to whomever do u always assume they will bring a guest/date or is the invite just for 1 person? do people ever go to weddings alone? Answer: When sending an invitation to a single person, the invitation is addressed "John Doe and guest". When sending an invitation to a couple, it is either "Mr. and Mrs. John Doe, or if they do not live together, you send two seperate invitations to their homes. 3. Question: After the couple leave the reception and go to lets say Hawaii for honeymoon - do they leave right away? Answer: Typically the couple is so exhausted from their wedding day, they will stay overnight at a local hotel, and leave the next day. In cases where you have out of town guests, often you host a brunch the morning after the wedding, to say goodbye to your guests before they fly home, and you leave for the honeymoon. 4. Question: kids - can u have a wedding with all adults? what about guests that have kids - do u have to invite them? Answer: You are responsible for the cost of the wedding. You can invite as many or as few people as you want. The "Kids or no kids" thing is a big controversy here on Yahoo Answers. My personal opinion is: Invite just adults, if you want to. You address the invitation to "Mr. and Mrs. John Doe", not "Mr. and Mrs. John Doe and Family". On the invitation you can have it say "Adults only Reception". If you get your RSVPs back with more than the number of guests invited, you call the guests, tell them how much you look forward to seeing them at the wedding, but you noticed additional people were RSVP'd for...and unfortunately this is an Adults only reception, with a limited guest list. Tell them you understand if they will not be able to attend without the children, but you will miss their presence. Then...you politely end the call. There is no reason someone can't get a babysitter for one night. 5. Question: Do u have to have open bar? is it tacky n' cheap if you don't? Answer: No, you do not have to have an open bar. Some reception locations (like in a church) do not allow alcohol. If you can not afford an open bar, you could go with limited alcohol selection (like I'm going to do)...which would be: Kegs of beer (regular and light), cases of wine (white, red and blush) and a signature drink to match your wedding theme. (In my case, I'm doing a beach theme, so we're doing a rum passion punch for our drink) What IS tacky is a cash bar. Do not ever invite guests to a party, then expect them to pay! Would you invite your guests to a birthday party, and charge them for sodas, because soda was expensive? You do NOT need to have alcohol to have a fun event...but if you choose to have drinks, you pay for them. 6. Question: maid of honor - is her dress supposed to be different from the other bridesmaids? how do u choose maid of honor I have 1 older sis and 2 female best friends Answer: Both of these are completely up to you. I'm having my best friend as my Matron of Honor, and a good female friend as my bridesmaid, and my two future stepdaughters as jr. bridesmaids. Each of the four girls is allowed to choose whatever gown they want, as long as it is in the same color....So, each person chooses a long gown in periwinkle, in a style that will be comfortable and flattering to their own personal body shape. As for choosing who to make your MOH...that is totally up to you, and no one can tell you what to do...If you have three equal parties, and one is your sister, I would say go with your sister. Friendships may change...but she will ALWAYS be your sister. 7. Question: is every 1 invited to the wedding invited to the reception? Answer: Yes. If they are invited to view the wedding, they should also be able to celebrate afterwards. Having a big wedding, then going out to a small private dinner, and just telling your wedding guests to drop off the gifts and leave would result in you losing a LOT of friends.
No question is dumb - these are very thoughtful ones! 1. Parents of the bride used to pay for the wedding when the bride was young, and going directly from her parents' home to her husband's home. These days, however, most couples are older and out working, so they pay for their own wedding, and just plan the style and number of guests to what they can afford themselves. 2. If one adds 'and guest' depends upon the budget, basically. If you have friends with a bf or gf who are serious, they would be invited. However, lots of people attend weddings alone. My sister met her husband at a wedding of a family friend! 3. Usually a honeymoon is planned, say for the Monday after a wedding. The next day after the wedding, there is usually a gift opening for family, then a bit of unwinding time before going on a trip. If they are going away that very night, she would change. 4. If you read around on Answers, you will see some brides who don't want kids at their wedding. I personally think that's sad - I believe weddings are events for family and friends of all ages to celebrate! Kids help make it a special, fun event. 5. Yes, a full open bar is a must. You are Hosting your guests, and you provide the food and the alcohol. It's not a family bbq in the backyard! 6. Usually, the attendants' dresses are all the same. I got married a while ago, and now I like the idea of the MOH having a dress somewhat different than the bridesmaids. I would have your sister be the MOH and the friends be the bridesmaids. 7. You invite the same people to the ceremony and the reception.
Customs vary but 1. Parents of the bride are most often expected to foot the bill 2. Where there's a known partner it's always expected that you'll invite the partner. If there's not a known partner, then you can either send the invitation "and partner" and when the RSVPs come in you'll know whether there's a partner coming or not. 3. The bride normally changes before leaving the reception 4. You don't have to invite kids and often they're not invited. 5. You can have a wedding entirely without alcohol if you like. 6. Have your older sister as maid of honor. She can be dressed however you like. Traditionally wearing white was a statement of virginity, so matrons of honor who were certainly not virgiins wore a different color. 7. Customs vary greatly. Weddings often have a meal for a selected number, then afterwards a dance for a much larger number.
1. Nowadays, the couple usually chips in on the wedding even if it is just a small amount. I would consider you and your fiance setting aside a little each week or month out of your paychecks. Even $20 per week adds up! 2. No, you do not assume anything! If you want them to invite a guest that you don't know, then you can put "and guest" on the invite. If they have a fiance or a long time love interest, find out the name and address of that person and send them their own invite. If your budget will not allow everyone to bring a date, then just address them to the person invited. I have been to several weddings alone when my husband did not know the couple, and it was enjoyable! 3. It is completely up to you what you do after the reception, and whether or not you change clothes. Most couples leave in their wedding attire nowadays, and stay the night at a local hotel before leaving the next day. 4. You do not have to invite kids, but be prepared for some people not to come because of this. Although it is not really rude, some people do not understand why you wouldn't want their little darlins running amok at your wedding!ha! Also, others will want to come but won't be able to find babysitters. Still others may show up with the kids anyway, so I would make provisions for them if I were you! Hire a teenager or two you trust to watch them at their own table. 5. You do not have to have a full open bar. That is, a bar that includes everything you would find at a restaurant or club bar that you pay for. It is tacky, however, to have a cash bar, where the guests pay for their own drinks. This is an accepted custom in some circles of friends. so some people do it, but it is not within the rules of etiquette. You'd need to ask around among your friends and family to find out if this would be accepted. You can always have a limited bar that you pay for, with only beer and wine, for example. 6. It is completely up to you whether or not the maid of honor is different in some way. It could be her dress, jewelry, or bouquet. She can look the same too if you want. I would probably choose the sister, then you don't have to choose between the friends. 7. Yes, everyone who is invited to the ceremony gets invited to the reception.
1) parents paying is an old tradition which dates back to when parents gave the groom's family money called a dowry so that they would take on the burden of a daughter. women were seen as less productive and useless for farm work, which was how many cultures began before industrialization. 2) only bring a guest if the invitation says "susie and guest" and that means 1 guest. 3) some brides change into a less bulky, heavy dress for the reception. some even change into a nice pants suit to leave for the airport. some couples stay in a nice hotel in town and leave for the honeymoon the next morning. others postpone the honeymoon for days, weeks, or even months to meet their budget and work schedules. (celeb examples: both britney spears and christina aguilera had a different dress at their reception) 4) many today are having weddings with all adults. this helps to cut reception costs and eliminates the crying babies and rowdy children at the ceremony. really organized brides provide a list of childcare options for out-of-town guests who bring their children. 5) it is not tacky if you don't have any open bar. to cut costs, many brides will allow each guest a choice of red or white wine along with champagne for toasting. the catering staff is instructed on how many refills each guest is allowed. this is also a way to keep any boozers in the families from getting tipsy and out of control. 6) maid of honor doesn't necessarily look any different than the other maids. in your case, to avoid making either friend upset, i would choose your sister. everyone understands that you would choose a relative to be your maid. this will prevent you from upsetting your sister and from choosing btwn two friends. 7) not every invited to the wedding is invited to the reception. the guests that are invited to the wedding only are not expected to bring gifts. this is also done to keep costs under control since only the reception fee increases with the guest count. the ceremony is a set price no matter how many show up at the church. also, i am a sociology student conducting an anonymous study on marriage. if you are interested, visit: http://geocities.com/sbiv37/marr
We are not having kids at our wedding. The youngest will be 16 and 18 my Jr Brides maides/ cousins - they will give bubbles out when they walk down the isle. We will not be close to home, so parents will not be able to bring their kids home after the wedding. We are all going away for the weekend. Kids do not belong around drinking anyhow. It's not rude. Just note - adult only reception on invites. Have to have an open bar! We are buying our own liquir and beer and hiring a friend to be the bar tender - we'll save lots of money - we're either having our wedding under a tent or in park rec center or shelter. It's your wedding. You can choose your maid of honor. Or only have brides maides and have your them pick straws or ribbons to see who will sign your marriage cert. Have them line up by who will look best next to you - make you look your best that day and make them all equals. There is nothing wrong with that. Most of the time all the girls are dressed the same - but that is your choice also.. My girls are all going to wear the same material and color, all tea leght of longer - they can pick the style of dress that suites their body and preference. All adults can bring a guest - if they are together - no last minute dates allowed - if we don't know them - we do not want them there. Sometime the parents of the bride still pay. About 50% of my firends parents paid, the other half they paid themselfs. I would approach your parents and be frank. We are starting to plan our wedding. The first step is setting a budget. - Hopefully this is when they offer to help - if they can. Some help is better than no help.
I will give you my two cents on questions #5 and #7. #5) Open bar vs cash bar varies by region. In Chicago it is considered very tack to have a cash bar. I have never been to a wedding without an open bar. Things are different in other parts of the country. #7) I am very old-fashioned and a stickler when it comes to this question. Is the ceremony being held in a Christian church? Stickily speaking, you are not "inviting" a guest to a christian church, churches are open to all. This is why wedding invitations commonly say something to the effect of "We request the honor of your presence at ..." as opposed to "We invite you to ...". The invitation is an invitation to the reception, not an invitation to the ceremony. If the ceremony is not held in church, then the above does not apply. I cannot speak if the ceremony is held at a house of worship of a different faith. This is a long-winded way of saying that everyone who is invited is invited to the reception. Some others may want to come to church to see the bride walk down the aisle and offer good wishes and that is fine too.
1. NO. This should never be expected. The bride and groom should save and pay for their own wedding and be pleasantly surprised if anyone offers any money. They should also inform those who donate money that it is still their wedding so they have the last say in any details. 2. On invitations, if there is "and guest" that person is allowed to invite a guest. if there is no "and guest" then that person is not allowed to bring a guest. Depending on how big the guest list and their pockets are, the bride and groom may allow all to bring a guest, or only those who are engaged or married with kids/without kids. 3. Depends on the couple. You could leave that very day on the honeymoon, the next day, or even sometime in the future! 4. Yes there are adult only weddings/receptions. Kids do not have to be invited BUT IMO it is a family affair and kids should be allowed. Depending on the venue kids might not be allowed at all though. It is up to the couple. (FYI I am having kids at my wedding / reception). 5. You do not have to have ANY alcohol. If you do, it can be an open bar or a cash bar. I've seen all three at different weddings and do not feel ANY of those choices are tacky or cheap at all. Guests should NOT expect to get drunk on the bride and groom's dime. 6. Her dress could be the same color or different, it depends on the bride and grooms decision. As for choosing the MOH that too is depending on the bride. I would chose whoever is closest and most reliable to be the MOH. 7. IMO anyone invited to the ceremony should be invited to the reception and vice versa. To me it is rude otherwise UNLESS it is a destination wedding and you are having a reception/congrats party when you return from the wedding/honeymoon. Or if your families are in totally different states, then you can have a reception in one state and another in another state. Welcome.
The only thing "dumb" about your question is the fact that these same things are answered every day here. These exact questions get asked over and over, and no one bothers to look at the previous responses. The questions are valid, but people are too lazy to look up the answers, so they expect to post 7 questions in one, and waste everyone else's time.
Not dumb questions at all... here's my answers for you: 1. NO - that is old fashioned -- unless the parents stick to old tradition, you can pay for your own wedding. 2. I have gone alone to a wedding. A lot of times, couples are now putting the number of people on the response cards before sending out the invites, which is not a tacky thing to do.. more cost effective in my opinion. 3. I had a destination wedding, so my honeymoon was right after. More often as of late, couples leave the day after the wedding.. those who leave the same day usually have a change of clothes to change in to during the last hour of the reception. 4. You can request for your reception to be adult only. You can also invite children should you choose. There is nothing wrong with saying that children are not allowed at the reception. Those who get offended by it -- well they just get offended. When I was a child, I never attended a wedding with my parents unless we were specifically invited. 5. You do not have to have an open bar. I have been to a few weddings where they didn't and it was still nice. For my wedding I did had an open bar, which I paid for. Once we hit the amount I paid, the open bar became a cash bar. 6. Her dress can be the same in a different color or different all together. That is the bride's choice. My MOH wore a scarlett red and my two bridesmaids wore crimson. I had a hard time choosing my best friends, so I asked them to be bridesmaids and had my sister as my MOH 7. They should be -- in my personal opinion, I think its rude to invite people to the wedding and not the reception. Its like telling people you are good enough to come to see me get married, but not good enough to celebrate my wedding with me.
only dumb q is one you don't ask 1- no, they CAN & lots do, but lots of couples pay for their own 2- usually invite to single person says "john(jane) doe & guest" 3-they MAY leave from reception or stay overnite someplace n go next day (or later) -- bride would change most likely 4-you can have adult only -- i think there's a tradition wording on the envelope going inside the invitation, you put on exactly who is invited (add-on: it's your wedding, you can have it YOUR way, yes there are those that will consider it rude, but they're the ones that will find SOMEthing to complain about no matter what) 5- no -- no 6- however YOU want her dress to be...these days there's no right or wrong -- and choose whom you're closest to 7-yes not not all will attend both - some will go to wedding only, some to reception only
1. Not usually. Most often now, from what I've seen, it depends on the age and life status of the bride and groom. For example, my fiance and I are both 27, have gone through school and have jobs. Thus, our parents are helping us, but we are paying for most things ourselves. But, if I was getting married at 18 for some reason (without my parents killing me first...haha), they probably would have paid for it all. 2. Yes, people go to weddings alone all the time, but one is to assume to only bring a guest if the invitation says "Name and Guest". 3. Sometimes they leave right away, but more often the couple leaves the next morning. No, she doesn't wear her dress on the plane. 4. Yes, you can have a wedding with all adults. This is easier, though, sometimes if you provide a babysitter. Some people consider it rude to not invite kids, but really, who cares. If you don't want kids there, then don't invite them. 5. An open bar, or any bar for that manner, is definitely not required. We are not having alcohol at our wedding except for the wedding toast. I've only been to one wedding that was open bar, and that was where the couple had a lot of money. Lucky kids. 6. Nope, her dress can be different or the same. It's whatever the bride wants. I chose my best friend as my maid of honor. You can choose whoever you want and whoever you think will be there for you the most during the wedding planning process and the wedding day. 7. Yes...you should invite everyone to both or neither....if the wedding and reception are on the same day. However, if they are on different days, then you don't have to have the same guest list.
most of it depends on what YOU want to do ... 1. this tradition is becoming less and less common. but it still happens a lot. 2. you address the invitation to who is invited - if someone can bring a guest, their invite will say "Jane and Guest." If it just says "Jane" she doesn't get to bring a guest. 3. If a couple leaves right away, they usually change clothes before leaving the reception. A lot of couples don't leave right away though. Some leave the next day or a few days later or the next weekend. 4. it depends on what the couple wants, or what whoever is paying wants. you don't have to invite kids if you don't want to, even if you invite their parents. 5. honestly, yes, it is seen as tacky and cheap not to. but I think it depends on what is common in your part of the country. all the weddings I've been to (Chicagoland area) have been open bar. 6. whatever the bride wants. for my wedding, all the ladies in the bridal party picked their own style, so everyone's dress was different. personally I think it looks bad to have ONE dress different, if you're going to do different, do it all the way. you can pick whoever you want to be in your bridal party. you don't have to pick your siblings if you don't want (but remember you will have to deal with them the rest of your lives). I don't have sisters so my side of the bridal party was 4 of my best female friends and my two brothers and my husband's side was 3 of his best guy friends and his two sisters. 7. yes, it is rude to invite someone only to the ceremony.